"Sleeping is oaky."
"Patient has advised i have pulled his pants down and i am comiting frude buy calling him... patient was very rude and use lauge he shoudnt of"
(The next file note said something along the lines of 'please ignore the blatherings of this nutter, I called the wrong number and clearly got through to some sweary berk', which begs the questions 1. Why did you think you needed to record this mad conversation for posterity? 2. Where is your spellcheck?)
"Client still struffling with every day activities"
"Patient reports a 1000% improvement in symptoms…Patient is pleased with progress." (Yeah, I bet they are)
"Patient reports 0% improvement in all symptoms since commencing treatment." (Imagine this person wasn't as happy as the last).
"Patient having difficulty when driving: blindspots and hoovering."
PUT THE DYSON DOWN AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD!