Hide And Seek

Guy, who regularly asks me to hide incorrect attachments on files: "Do you want to play hide and seek?"

Me: "Yes. You go and hide, and I'll come and find you in, say, an hour and a half?"

Ready or not, here I come!

Porridge. It Tastes Like Porridge.

Sitting next to a newer member of staff in the breakroom...

Me: "Oooh, is that porridge you've got?"

Girl: "Yes. I've not had porridge before. Is it like Ready Brek?"

Me: "Ready Brek IS porridge."

Girl: "Oh."

A short while later...

Girl: "This tastes like Ready Brek."

You Must Be Mistaken

Girl: "Tell him who you saw in Iceland!"

Boy: "Was it a walrus with a moustache?"

Me: "Not unless you're being incredibly rude, it was a girl called J- who used to work here."


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Watching repeats of Pointless:

Alexander Armstrong: "Name a film with a country in the title."

Me: "Australia."

Friend: "There's no trees in that."

Balls

Me: "I googled the number, and they're a telepest."
Girl: "Is telepest a company?"
Me: "I don't think they'd get many customers if they were called that."


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Girl: "Why is Mexico not in the Euro?"


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Physiotherapist, writing in their report: "Patient has Asparagus syndrome."

(Definitely worth noting, as they are clearly a medical marvel)


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 Boss, in departmental email: "We're having some desk moves as we're testing the new system, so the testes will be sitting together."

Balls to that.